How Not To Get A Covid Vaccine

I read a few weeks ago that the CDC recommends two doses of a covid vaccines this winter for people at high risk of serious disease. So having been vaccinated in September, I asked my primary care provider if I should get a second dose.

Yes, good idea.

Can you write me a prescription?

You won’t need one, just go to the pharmacy.

Okey dokey. I went off to the pharmacy. 

There’s no one on staff who can give it to you right now, but you can make an appointment.

I was already so aggravated about the rumpus over the underfilled prescription that I walked away to calm down, and left my always supportive spouse to continue the conversation; she made dates for the next morning.

Next morning: a phone call.

We can’t give you the vaccine, it has to be at least six months after the previous dose.

The CDC: the minimum interval is two or three months, depending on the manufacturer. I have no idea which kind I had last time, but it’s been almost five months; I contact my doctor. She writes a script. I go back to the pharmacy.

How old are you?

62.

We can’t give you the vaccine, you have to be over 65.

I have a prescription from my doctor because I’m at higher risk.
You need to have a condition.
My doctor said she sent a prescription, did you get it? 

We have it. mYou need to have a reason. What condition do you have?
You need to know that?
Yes.*

There’s a line behind me now. She takes my deets, gives me a form to fill out, and goes off to run my insurance information.

It’s expired.
The policy I had expired, but I’ve had a new one since December. It’s on record. I’ve filled several prescriptions.
They’re saying it’s expired now.
…..
…..
Do you have a card?

I hand it over. She huddles with three or four other pharmacy employees. The line behind me is getting long. She comes back, hands me a printout.

Your insurance won’t cover it.

How much is it?

Over a hundred dollars, I think. I’ll go check.

…. 

$245.

I look at my very patient spouse, who has been waiting, patiently, behind me. The line is about ten deep by now. She nods. I get out my credit card. 

*The CDC: People can self-attest to factors that increase their risk for severe COVID-19 during the individual-based decision-making process and receive COVID-19 vaccine doses wherever vaccines are offered. Vaccinators should not deny COVID-19 vaccination to a person due to lack of documentation.

Patient, n. Person with disease or injury, intermittent or chronic, who must be always be patient in the presence of health care providers, regardless of any bureacratic or political shenanigans.